Why?

I realize that other people carry heavier crosses and the world has much bigger problems than I do, but do you ever feel like the universe is working against you?  Today I heard some news that made me mad, confused but mostly scared.  In just over 24 weeks I have lost 29 pounds.  That on average is 1.2 pounds per week.  When it comes to weight loss the experts say that it is best to lose about 1-2 pounds per week rather than lose drastically too fast.  In this time I have increased my workouts and in so many ways I have become stronger both physically and mentally.

There is a reason why I am telling you all this.  A couple of weeks ago I had to go in for some blood work.  I was asked to fast for the testing.  So I went in, they took my blood and I went on with my day.  A day or two later I received a call from my doctor's office, I was told I have a slight deficiency in Vitamin D and that they need to do further tests because they were concerned about other numbers.  However this time I didn't need to fast.  I headed back into the doctors the next morning and waited to hear the results.  Well the results came back and I ended up in my doctor's office today.  And the verdict is ... I have diabetes.

I burst into tears in the office and the only two questions I had were how? and why?  I looked at my doctor dumb founded and confused.  I said how can this be if I have lost almost 30 pounds and I have increased my workouts over the last 5 months?  He explained that I could have had diabetes this whole time but didn't show any symptoms but the numbers don't lie.  He asked me not to focus on the fact that I will now be put on medication but to continue to focus on the weight loss and my continued workouts.  He is referring me to a nutritionist who specializes in diabetes so she can help me continue on my weight loss journey.  He told me that it is obvious that I want to live a healthy life and that is what I need to focus on.

What I am struggling with is why now?  So often you read about individuals who change their lifestyle after they find out they have diabetes ... I have never heard of anyone getting diabetes after they change their lifestyle.  However, I guess there is always one in every crowd.

Like I said I know there are a lot of bigger problems in this world but this is a pretty big deal to me and I am scared.

All I can do is take it one day at a time...