Why?

I realize that other people carry heavier crosses and the world has much bigger problems than I do, but do you ever feel like the universe is working against you?  Today I heard some news that made me mad, confused but mostly scared.  In just over 24 weeks I have lost 29 pounds.  That on average is 1.2 pounds per week.  When it comes to weight loss the experts say that it is best to lose about 1-2 pounds per week rather than lose drastically too fast.  In this time I have increased my workouts and in so many ways I have become stronger both physically and mentally.

There is a reason why I am telling you all this.  A couple of weeks ago I had to go in for some blood work.  I was asked to fast for the testing.  So I went in, they took my blood and I went on with my day.  A day or two later I received a call from my doctor's office, I was told I have a slight deficiency in Vitamin D and that they need to do further tests because they were concerned about other numbers.  However this time I didn't need to fast.  I headed back into the doctors the next morning and waited to hear the results.  Well the results came back and I ended up in my doctor's office today.  And the verdict is ... I have diabetes.

I burst into tears in the office and the only two questions I had were how? and why?  I looked at my doctor dumb founded and confused.  I said how can this be if I have lost almost 30 pounds and I have increased my workouts over the last 5 months?  He explained that I could have had diabetes this whole time but didn't show any symptoms but the numbers don't lie.  He asked me not to focus on the fact that I will now be put on medication but to continue to focus on the weight loss and my continued workouts.  He is referring me to a nutritionist who specializes in diabetes so she can help me continue on my weight loss journey.  He told me that it is obvious that I want to live a healthy life and that is what I need to focus on.

What I am struggling with is why now?  So often you read about individuals who change their lifestyle after they find out they have diabetes ... I have never heard of anyone getting diabetes after they change their lifestyle.  However, I guess there is always one in every crowd.

Like I said I know there are a lot of bigger problems in this world but this is a pretty big deal to me and I am scared.

All I can do is take it one day at a time...

Sunday

Today I am tired so I am going to make this quick ... I am thankful for:

1. I finished a paper for school today ... I still have so much work to do but I at least finished this one.

2. I purchased 4 new tires for my car today

3. I went for a run today!!!

I think it is worth a try...

So yesterday I wrote about how I was starting to fall into old habits ... the habit of sabotaging all my work from during the day and overeating at night, behind closed doors.  Well this evening as I was perusing Facebook I found this article by Nancy Clark, a sports nutritionist and it makes so much sense. (Check it out)

http://www.sportingnews.com/sport/story/2014-09-27/stopping-nighttime-overeating

Nancy Clark advises individuals to take in a majority of their calories during the day so you are not hungry at night.  Your calories can be split between breakfast, lunch and a snack and then  a smaller meal in the evening. I think I may try this and see how things go with this old habit I am dealing with ...

One meal at a time.

Friday, November 21st

So I have been struggling to write this post but I promised myself that I would be honest.  I have not worked out in two days.  On Thursday morning I flew down to DC for an event.  I finally arrived in the late afternoon and followed the trip with two conference calls and then the start of the event.  This morning I decided not to get up when my alarm went off so yet another workout not completed.  I landed home around 5:30 p.m. tonight and headed to dinner with some friends.  I had a great time but still never got my workout done ... not that I was thinking about it during dinner.

However, that isn't what i want to be honest about ... I am down 29 pounds but the weight loss has slowed down and I find myself slipping into my old ways.  I am mindless eating and always at my worst time of day,  in the evening.  Am I tired, stressed, feeling a bit overwhelmed?  Why I am I falling backwards?  I work so hard during the day and then I let it fall a part once I get home.  This rut has been happening since Monday,  I know what you are thinking it's only been five days.  But I want to stop it before it gets really ugly and I know what ugly looks like. 

Why?

the gym

Today I am thankful for the gym.  I am thankful that I have access to two gyms, an indoor track, an outdoor track, indoor pool and outdoor pool (summer only) all on campus.  When I am not at work I run outside or in the hotel fitness centers when I travel.  But today I used the wellness clinic at lunch time.  I had to get some blood work done this morning to I didn't go into the gym early and after work I had a committee meeting to host with some of our alumni so I had to figure out when I was going to run.  Due to the convenience of having a gym literally a 5 minute walk away from my office I headed inside for my run.  I was happy to have that option and thankful for the perks i get because I work on a college campus.

Day 2 of the gallon water challenge went really well.  I have about 16 ounces to go and I will be done.  I took the advice of a friend and drank the water slowly all day ... sip the water don't guzzle ... which limited the trips to the bathroom.  And after two days I have noticed something ... I am a tea drinker.  I don't drink coffee so I get my caffeine from the tea I drink.  I love my morning cup of tea but one of my favorite cups of tea is in the late afternoon around 3 or 4 p.m. However, the last two days I have not had a desire for that afternoon cup.  Is it the water or is it all in my head?  Only time will tell.  On to day three ... tomorrow I am traveling again for work and I find it harder to get enough water when traveling so this will be interesting.

Stay tuned.

One Gallon ...

Recently I read an article about a woman who decided she was going to try drinking a gallon of water every day for four weeks.  This woman was in her 40s and it was recommended by her doctor.  According to the woman who attempted this she said she was 42 years of age but looked and felt like 52.  So she started her month long journey and every week she saw a difference in the mirror.  She felt leaner and fitter.  She lost the dark shadows under her eyes and the red blotches on her face.  She said the water helped with her cravings and mindless eating because in the past what she thought was hunger pangs was really her body wanting water.

So a gallon of water is about 110 ounces of water.  So today I thought to myself why not ... what have I got to lose?  Other than the fact that I wore a path already to the bathroom, I decided to try it starting today.  I don't dislike water and it can't hurt me, can it?  We all know I like a good challenge.  So if I start today ... one month is December 15th ... 28 days ... four weeks...

Please hold I have to go to the bathroom again....

Okay, I am back.  As of right now at 9:24 PM I have 14 ounces to go before I complete day one and a complete gallon of water!! 

Stay tuned for more ... I will give you updates!!

PS: I took the picture today on my run ... I thought it was fitting since there was water in the picture.

Monday

Today was a long day.  Drove back from DC in pouring rain and stop and go traffic.  It was supposed to be a vacation day but I did work the entire day.  When I walked into the house I was tired and hungry and something went wrong.  I couldn't stop eating ... I fell back into old habits.  What I am thankful for is that I stopped.  I did eat quite a bit but I stopped.  I finally said enough.  It isn't the best thing to be thankful for but I was aware of what I was doing and I was able to stop.  Someday I hope that I will become aware before I start falling back into the old habits.

One day at a time sometimes becomes one meal at a time.

November 16th --A few things to be thankful for...

A list of things to be thankful for:

Catching up on some graduate school work over the weekend.  I have found the transition back to school, while working full time and traveling over 50% of my job, very difficult.  So when you can take advantage of some down time and get some work done its a good thing!

Even though the Ithaca Bombers lost in the annual Cortaca game the pain is not as bad knowing the fact the team will be playing in the post season!!

There is nothing better than a great cup of tea and a good beer.  Not at the same time but both can do so much for you.

There is nothing better than going shopping and buying clothes in a smaller size!

Just a few things to help me be thankful!!

November 15th

I wish I could write today that I am thankful about a great win for IC but I can't do that tonight.  However, I can write that I am thankful that I was able to spend the day with some wonderful friends and alumni while we watched Ithaca take on Cortland.  I can also say that I am thankful that the viewing parties in Chicago, DC, Philly and Boston all were great successes.  I just can't be thankful for the score...oh well there is always post season.

Snow...

So many things to be thankful today.  The snow began to fly and land on the ground.  I do love the snow but it reminds me that I have to get new tires for the car and I have to purchase my ski pass!!

I started running again today.  After 3 1/2 weeks of not running my first day back went really well.  I think due to the fact that I kept moving (walking) during those 3 1/2 weeks it made the transition back really easy.

I signed up for my second half marathon for 2015 today.  On March 22nd I will be running the streets of Syracuse.  When I cross the finish line that will be half marathon #10!

And finally at the end of the day, I was sitting in my bosses office and she said to me, "your face looks so thin".  I laughed and said thanks losing 28.5 pounds will do that!  She asked if I had lost it on purpose?  I said yes I started on June 7th.  I told her that I feel good and still have a long way to go but I am taking it one day at a time.

28.5

Today my friend Ellen posted a picture on Facebook which read, "each day is a gift". I stared at the post as I began to think about the fact that I have been Bitching for three weeks about my stupid cast. Instead of looking at every day as a gift that I am alive, I am not sick and I am able to move. Sure we always have rough days or weeks but where does complaining get us?

When I worked for Team In Training we had t-shirts that read, "if you think running 26.2 miles is tough try chemotherapy" now if that didn't make you stop complaining nothing will. We all have problems and someone always has it worse than me.

So today is a gift. Today I woke up and the scale dropped 1.5 pounds. I am now down 28.5 pounds. I went back to the doctors and my break is healing well. They took the cast off and now I have a smaller brace for the next two weeks. I can ease back into running but swimming will not resume until December.

Today was a gift.

November 11th

One more day until the cast comes off, I hope.  I head back to the doctor's tomorrow for more xrays of my hand.  I am praying that the brace can come off, my running shoes can go on and I can run to the pool for a swim workout!!  This isn't the worst injury I have ever had but I will say it has been annoying.

I will share that this is the one injury I have had that I haven't used it as an excuse not to exercise or continue to control my eating.  I have not sat on the couch and felt sorry for myself.  I have taken advantage of the fact that there is some movement I can still do ... walk but no run ... bike but now swim.  So I have walked a lot.  I have racked up the miles walking almost every day.  I have changed it up a few times by jumping on my bike trainer and spinning the wheels a bit. (Yes, for those of you who know me well, don't be shocked my this.  I did get on my bike).

I have been counting down the days until I go back to the doctor but I haven't stopped living my life and feeling good about myself.!!

Always One day at a Time.

November 10th

Today I am thankful for being home. After traveling most of last week and this weekend for work it was nice to come home. I will be home for four nights before I pack my bags again. But tonight I am just happy to be home. Sometimes we have appreciate the little things!

Thankful for a good day

So it has been over 2 weeks since the scale moved but it has also been over two weeks since I broke my hand and my workouts have been limited.  However, praise the Lord the scale moved today and I am down another pound for a total of 27 pounds!  What a great way to start the day!!

The morning continued with a trip to NYC for work.  I arrived in the city and I was lucky enough to have dinner with one of my favorite people and alumnus!  Thank you Cornell for joining me it's always fun to catch up!

After a week of travel I got home, unpacked my suitcase and packed it again and hit the road.  Even though I worked all weekend I am lucky to have a job that I love so much!

It's been a good day!

November 8th

I am sorry I missed yesterday's grateful post.  I was finishing up at a conference and then was driving back home and didn't get home until very late.  However just because I missed one day doesn't mean I will stop.

So today I am grateful that the IC Football team beat St. John Fisher College.  It was a great game and the team played well.  It looks like they will be playing in the post season!!

November 6 -- thank you!

I am grateful that I work with some incredible people. I am traveling this week (surprise surprise) and some issues came up regarding an event that is happening this weekend. Even though I am several hours away my colleagues had my back and handled the problem. I appreciate them so much! Thank you Cheryl and Emily!

November 5th -- Regis College

This year I started my doctorate at Regis College, which also happens to be my alma mater.  Today I had the opportunity to go onto campus and it got me thinking about the person I was when I first stepped on this campus; the person I became when I graduated and the person I am today.  Thank you Regis for the opportunities and giving me the confidence to become the best person I can be.  I am thankful I am not the same person I was when I stepped on campus; I took advantage of the opportunity four years gave me to grow and change.  I am also grateful that I knew that there were so many more opportunities to grow after I left Regis.  This place holds a very special place in my heart and the best is still yet to come!!

November 4 -- Grateful

On June 7th I stepped on a scale and saw a number I have never seen before ... a number so high I was in shock.  I decided that day to make some changes.  At the time I knew that I had a routine doctor's appointment in 5 months.  I set a goal for myself, I wanted to lose 30 pounds by the appointment.  Well the appointment was today and I was short by 4 pounds.  My doctor wasn't disappointed, she thought I looked great and that I was doing a great job.  We set up another 6 month appointment and she told me she expects to see less of me at that time.

I am grateful that I have not given up.  One day at a time ... one meal at a time and one pound at a time ... I will get to my finish line!

November 3rd

Today was a rough day so it seems a bit odd that I still want to record a gratitude.  This afternoon I had to put my 16 year old cat, Sally, down.  She had a very large tumor and there wasn't anything that could be done.  I owned her for 8 years because I adopted her and her brother from a friend of mine.  Her brother Harry died about 5 years ago also from a large cancerous tumor.  I know she is out of pain but it doesn't make it any easier.  

So today I am grateful that I was able to share in Sally's life.  She was a bit of a Diva but she was a sweet cat. I will miss her but I am grateful for the time I spent with her!!

November 2nd Gratitude

Well today I am grateful for few things:

A great workout in the morning.  Although I am just walking right now (due to injury) it was a great feeling to be outside and pushing myself just a bit further.

I spent the day with my cat Sally.  She is very sick and her time is limited so I am grateful to enjoy her company.

I spent the day catching up on school work.  I started my doctorate this fall and it is a lot of work.  I find it hard but rewarding.  However, when I can get a day when I don't have to be anywhere I take advantage to get some work done.

Finally I am grateful that after last weekend's online shopping spree everything fits.  Everything I bought was one size smaller and everything fits!

One day at a time...

November 1st --Thankful

Today is Saturday November 1, 2014.  November is known as the month where Thanksgiving falls.  No it is not preparation for Christmas month it is get ready for Thanksgiving month!  And what is a better way to get ready for Turkey day than to share what you are thankful for.  So for the next 30 days I will post my gratitude's.

First I am so thankful that my friend Nikki's biopsy came back negative this week!  It was such great news.

I am thankful for my friends near and far.  No matter where they are I hope they know how much they mean to me!

I am thankful that even though my hand is broken and I am limited to what I can do physically i.e. no swimming or no running...I am still able to move and I continue to walk and get on my bike trainer.

One day at a time ...