Sometimes you are your own worst enemy...

Has this ever happened to you that you get so inside your head and your own thoughts that you end up sabotaging yourself? Well it happened to me and I am so mad for letting it happen. On my schedule for this weekend's long run was 14 miles. I started to think about where would I run this distance. Which course would be comfortable or which would be a challenge. I would say yes to some and no to others but then talk of weather and temperatures started to be discussed. Two weeks ago I ran 12 miles and did just fine. It was a cold morning and was snowing but I went out and completed the training without any problems. I don't know what was going on this week.

I started to get nervous every time I thought about having to run the 14 miles. I had done it before so I knew it could be done but it had been quite some time since I ran that far. And every day the weather conditions got worse and worse. I decided to exchange training days and hold off on running it until this morning (Monday, March 13). I had today off from work so I would have plenty of time to run plus the temperature and weather conditions were supposed to be better than Sunday.

I got up, bundled up and headed out for my run. As soon as I took the first step the negative thoughts started. I wasn't going to be able to make it; it was cold...oh damn I have to go to the bathroom now. My legs weren't tired, I wasn't sore but my worse enemy, my own thoughts defeated me!!These thoughts gave me absolutely no encouragement and made me feel exhausted...and the worst part I gave it. I completed 30 minutes and that was it...

Can I learn anything from this? Is the quote above true? Even though this run made me feel defeated, do I feel stronger? Will I feel stronger? Will this anger and agony of defeat fuel me to have a better longer runner next weekend? What happened??

All I know is that I will lace up the sneakers again...

(PS: I did go home and got on my bike trainer for 45 minutes)