Struggling...

It has been over 8 weeks since my bariatric surgery (RNY) and I can, with 100% certainty, say that this is not easy and I don't know everything. Especially after the last 32 hours! Three months ago if I was traveling for work and I was taking an alumnus/alumna out to lunch or dinner I wouldn't even think twice. I would order something that sounded yummy on the menu and probably eat the whole thing.

Since the surgery it isn't that easy. In fact it causes me a bit of anxiety. Will I order the wrong thing? Will it disagree with me? Will I eat too much? Within the last 32 hours I have struggled with where I should eat, what I should order and how much I should eat? I probably should admit I haven't made the best choices.

Granted I can look back at every meal and know that I barely ate anything (for a normal person). For example I went to dinner on Friday evening and when the waiter finally took my plate away (after 40 minutes...yes I time myself) most people would probably say, did you even touch the meal? However, I left the restaurant feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. I ate one too many bites. Of course right away I started to beat myself up. Why did I do that? Why didn't I just listen to my body? However, a few months ago I would probably have eaten the entire meal and I didn't do that, not even half. I am not making excuses just trying to make myself feel better.

When I am home I weigh and measure everything I eat. I plan every meal so being on the road, not always knowing how things are made or how much will be served can be difficult. Yes, I pack protein bars and other snacks to have on hand. I have also shopped at grocery stores in different cities to pick up some meals but I am sure not our alumni wouldn't be into going to the deli counter at Ralph's in LA!?!? But maybe they are?!?

I need to figure this out because I can't ask every alumnus/alumna out for coffee/tea...I would be supper high on caffeine!

I know this post is probably all over the place but that is how I feel right now. A good friend of mine, who is a fantastic writer, once shared that sometimes you just have to put thoughts down on paper and not worry about making sense!

PS: For those who don't know me, I work in the field of alumni relations in higher education and I travel a lot!

On a new journey!