Marathon #2...Finally!

"Where is that damn finish line" were the thoughts going through my head as I was finishing up the last mile of the marathon. I could hear the announcer and the bike path in the park along the beautiful Lake Champlain was starting to be more dense with people cheering you on but I couldn't see the finish sign. The path twisted and turned and I finally saw it...I finished in 5:40:39. However, this isn't where the story begins.

For a few weeks I was watching the weather. Like all runners preparing for a race, we become obsessed with the weather will it be hot, cold, dry or wet? However, on the day of the race other runners and I laughed at the fact that it can change every minute not just every day and it is out of our control. For days the weather was predicting to be an overcast day, high in the 60s and a chance of rain later in the day. Sounds like a perfect run day! As we got closer to start time that all changed...there was a 10% chance of rain (there was no rain), sunny (no clouds) and in the high 70s. This made it tough...not the hottest day for a marathon but after a cold winter and spring it was tough for the first hot run.

I followed my coaches race day schedule; easy workouts a few days before the race, pancakes for breakfast the day before and the alarm set for 4 AM, three hours before start time. I was lucky that the last two nights prior to the race, I slept really well. I felt good physically and I was ready...emotionally I was getting nervous.

This was not my first marathon, it was actually my second. My first was done in October of 2005. I had joined Team In Training with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and trained for the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco. The race on Sunday was almost 12 years in the making. I often referred to that marathon in San Francisco as my "first" marathon because I knew someday I would do a second. I just needed to find the right time to dot it and I was ready! My first marathon time was 6:04:14 and I wanted to beat that.

I thought about running with the 5:30 pace group and was actually standing near them at the start line but decided against it. I didn't want the anxiety of having to stay with the pace group so I walked away from them. I learned my lesson from my half in Rochester. I tried so hard to stay with the pace group there and it didn't go well. I did end up PRing that race but felt like I went out way too fast. I am happy with my decision because when the race started I watched the group leave and they seemed to go out way too quickly. I lost sight of them but based on my time in the first 10 miles I should have been with them or ahead of them. I did catch the group around mile 13 and stayed with them for about 5 miles. I lost the group again at mile 18 but I know that I passed a number of runners who started with the pace group. I ended up finishing the race 10 minutes slower than I wanted to but I was happy. I did PR the race by 24 minutes and looking at my times per mile I kept a consistent pace until the last six miles. I held less than a 13 minute mile the entire course...the longest mile was 12:55 and that was at the end. By that point, it was hot and I needed to slow down. I felt myself getting a bit nauseous and delirious. And when I saw that finish line I was so happy!

This was a great race, well run and tons of great support on the course. The uneven terrain and heat not so great but somethings are out of your control. I can now  say I have done two marathons and that my first marathon was officially my first and not just my only!! And of course every good race you need some bling and some chocolate milk. The winner of the Indianapolis 500 drinks cold milk, this marathoner, LOVES her chocolate milk!! Thank you Byrne Dairy, I brought you with me to Vermont!

So, what got me through this? It wasn't just my determination. Yes, I am the one that covered the miles not only on Sunday but also during my training but I wasn't alone. In one of the pockets of my fuel belt I carried certain people and messages with me. I knew at points I would need these people to help me dig down deep to make it to the finish line. 

Just one month ago my friend and first coach Brendan Jackson was called home to Heaven. He was a man who touched so many people's lives and encouraged so many to the finish line. He coached me through my first marathon in 2005 and I know I wouldn't have done it without him. And even after I finished that marathon for 12 years he continued to encourage me to so many finish lines. I carried his picture with me, and of course in the picture he was encouraging me up a hill. I thought of him so often during this race and especially on the hill climb from HELL on Battery Street. It was a mile climb that felt like it would never end. I ran the whole thing (pretty proud of that) and I heard his voice in my head..."this is not a hill Mo D...You got this"!! I miss you Brendan!!

The day before this marathon it was the 7th anniversary of my Mom's death. Many people would describe her as a sweet and kind woman, and that she was, but man was she tough, in a good way. She is always with me but I knew I would need her strength during this race. Thank you Mom!

I also carried a note with that my friend Cheryl gave me in 2012 when I was getting ready to complete my first Half Ironman..."You are stronger than you think!" She advised me to write that note on my arm during that race and to read it when I thought I couldn't go on. This message is so true. Just when you think I can't go on, you dig down deep and you find a way. I carry this message with me in this fuel belt during every training and every  race and Cheryl's message means so much to me. We often say it to each other, instead of saying "suck it up and get it done" we say "You are stronger than you think!" Thank you

I also carried the final time I wanted to beat during this race. I wanted to beat the time I set during my first marathon (done)! I also added my friend Rhonda's name, since I told her I would run for her. She is dealing with a frustrating injury and being sidelined is not easy for her. Meg and Jen I wrote your names down too. You are both going through a lot right now and know that you are not alone. Your continued support of me means so much and I hope you know that I am there for you too.

Finally my current Coach Kristen Roe, thank you for helping me to the finish line! You have been encouraging and a cheerleader before we even worked together. Thank you for being as excited for me as I have been as I have run through my goals (pun intended). And thank you for talking me off the edge as I got closer to race day! I greatly appreciate all of your support and friendship.

I wish I could thank everyone by name, my dad, brothers and sister and all my friends. I did not do this race by myself you were all there pushing me along. Now back to my opening line, "Where is that damn finish line?" I did find it and I kicked it up a notch until I crossed it. The support through that final .2 was unbelievable! The crowds were incredible. Once again I am a marathoner but this story is not over...there are more goals to set and more to achieve!

My Favorite!!

A promise is a promise

Years back, when I first started this blog and every time in between, I always promised that I would write about the good, the bad and the ugly. The last few blogs I have shared with you my running accomplishments and my weight loss. I have also shared with you the Bariatric Weight Loss surgery is a tool not the fix.

Yesterday I read an article about the weight loss process post surgery, written by a surgeon. He said that within the first year is like the honeymoon, it comes off quickly and with not much effort. He went on to explained that things will start to slow down and that is when the work will really begin.

I am presently in this time frame. Things are starting to slow down, the work needs to begin and I have to be careful that old habits don't show their ugly heads. What sort of old habits, you ask? The eating for no reason; the taking a bite of this or a taste of that; finding yourself mindlessly eating. Is it stress eating? Am I tired?

Some may say that I am in a good place...the place that I am aware that this stuff is happening and I can do something about it. However, the place that I am in right now is terrified! I don't want to go back and I want to keep moving forward.

Monday and Tuesday my workouts were half a$$. I went through the motions but didn't feel like I accomplished anything. Add that to the mindless evening eating and obviously I am feeling great about myself right now (insert sarcasm). Today was a better day, I attacked my morning bike workout and so far I haven't eaten anything other than what I planned. Each day is a new battle. Each day I have to face the hard work.

The next 18 days are very important and will be very challenging. I will be wrapping up my training before I face my marathon in Vermont. Also, work will be very busy and I have to make sure I am putting myself and my priorities first. This is not the time to go backwards.

Continuing in the new journey...stay tuned!

Another Half...Another PR?

I dedicate this entry to a dear friend who we lost yesterday, Brendan Jackson. Twelve years ago this month I was introduced to Brendan, as my coach. He coached me through my first marathon and through so many other races. Not only was he my first endurance coach, he became a wonderful friend. Brendan touched so many people's lives and he shared his love of running and triathlons with so many. He helped build such a strong endurance sport community in Central New York. He was always there with an encouraging word and even when you didn't believe in yourself, he believed in you. Although I am filled with such sadness now, your memory, will always bring a smile to my face. I will learn from you and share my love for these sports as you did with me. 

Be The Change You Wish to See in the World --Gandhi 

This past Sunday I completed my 12^th half marathon, The Flower City Half in Rochester, NY. My first half marathon was in 2005 and twelve years later I completed my 12^th. Some years I did multiple races and other years I did none. This was also my third half marathon since my bariatric weight loss surgery 9 months ago; there is no time for sitting on the couch now!

This was my third time running this race and it holds a special place in my heart. It is a beautiful course that goes through many neighborhoods throughout Rochester. It is a well supported and well organized event too. 

The first time I ran the race was April 25, 2010. It was almost two years after I had ankle surgery and I needed motivation to get off the couch. This particular surgery not only had me sidelined from running but as a result of not running I put on weight, became a bit depressed and become comfortable not moving. I was cleared to start running a year before this race but I couldn’t get back in the swing of things. In January of 2010 a group of friends made the suggestion that we should all sign up for this race and do it together. I saw this as my motivation to get back in the swing of things. 

Slowly I started to train, excited to be doing it again and looking forward to race day. However, as race day approached many members of this group backed out of the race for one reason or another. I could have backed out too but decided that this race was my ticket off the couch.

The time limit for this race was 3 hours and 30 minutes. You have 210 minutes to complete the 13.1 miles or you would be directed off the course. This wasn’t my first half marathon, so I knew I could cover the miles, but it was my first in some time and I was nervous. The gun went off and I was running. Very quickly the pack got away from me and I was running by myself. I remember at one point during the race, before the third mile marker when you can look down one side street and see the start line, I thought I could take a right, head back to my car and no one would know. I didn’t let that happen because I would know. 

Very slowly the miles passed by as we made our way through Rochester. As I crossed the last bridge of the race, I had one mile to go and a police escort joined me. I was the last person on the course and little time to officially finish the race. One of the police officers put on his lights and siren on to encourage me to finish. They were not annoyed that I was last; they encouraged me because I hadn’t given up. The police officers were cheering me on! As the finish line approached the seconds ticked away but I crossed that finish line with 3 minutes and 33 seconds to spare! I was official! That race brought me back; I was a runner once again with a time of 3:26:27.

Two years later I did the race again, a bit faster and stronger as a runner. I wanted to go back and show that course that I was better and stronger. On April 29, 2012 I crossed the finish line in 2:55:32. In 2012 that finish line had a different feeling. I wasn’t the fastest person on the course but I wasn’t last either and the race continued to have a special place in my heart.

I often talk this race up to people. When individuals are thinking about doing the race I encourage them to make it happen. However, for five years I took a little hiatus from the course in order to pursue other races or I let life get in my way. I wasn’t going to let that happen this year. I marked it on the calendar before the end of 2016 and I was going back to Rochester.

Just coming off my PR half marathon last month at the Syracuse Half Marathon, I didn’t know what to expect. My coach had asked me if I was ready.  I told her that I had mixed feelings about the race. I was a bit nervous because I didn’t want to get my hopes up after having such a great run in Syracuse. I was hoping to repeat or even do better but I didn’t want to hit the wall. I told her that I was ready training wise but emotionally, my mind was playing tricks on me. 

As I checked the weather during the week, things were not looking that great for race day. But of course like most weather reports in upstate NY and the Northeast, things could change every day, even every minute. On race day the temperature was going to be in the lower 50s, not too bad, and the rain was supposed to hold off until at least 9 am…and no chance of thunderstorms. Well…

I walked to the start line with a friend of mine and was thrilled that we were able to run together for at least 6 miles (before she took off on meJ and I was ok with that). My plan was to try and stay with the 2:30 pace group for the 13.1 miles. What kind of runner had I become that I was even having these thoughts? Years ago, even a month ago I wouldn’t have even thought about staying with a pace group but something had come over me. 

Before we hit mile 3 the rain started. It wasn’t a pounding rain but with the wind it made it cold (I was still with the 2:30 pace group). By mile 6, which was a one mile uphill climb to seven started, the rain had stopped (I was still with the 2:30 pace group). As I approached mile 9 there was thunder and lightning but we continued (I lost the 2:30 pace group). By mile 12 nothing was dry, the rain pelted you and your sneakers felt 10 pounds heavier but I continued. One mile to go, how would this story end…my time at the Syracuse Half Marathon, a PR, was 2:34:26. Having lost the pace group by this point I didn’t know if I was on track to PR or not. I just kept running toward the finish line. In and out of puddles I continued until I crossed and the clock read 2:35:30 (gun time). What did this mean for me…

Official Time

2:33:26

Pace 11:43

I PR'd by 59 seconds

The Flower City Half Marathon in Rochester, NY is one of my favorites! I encourage everyone to run this one!

Keep Running!

How do you identify yourself?

Yesterday, I attended a staff retreat for work on diversity and inclusion. We participated in an activity that asked us to list the ways we identify ourselves. The subjects were, race, gender, religion, nationality etc. At the end, there was a line marked “other”, and I started to think about how else do I define myself? In addition to the other identities, these are a few more ways that I define myself Massachusetts Native (aka Masshole), Athlete/Runner, and Bariatric Weighloss Surgery patient.

For some these may not seem important but to me they define me and make me who I am! Of course, the last one is the most recent definition but will be with me until the end of time. Which is a switch from a year ago.

When I was going through the research process of weightloss surgery, I was not convinced that this was the right thing for me. I know I have shared with you my concerns from earlier in my research time. I was afraid of what people would think. I was afraid to tell my family and friends my plans. This of course now makes me laugh. I have been very lucky that I have had such great support. In addition, of course I am not afraid to share my story, I am proud that I decided to have the surgery and with the results that I have gotten so far.

As I shared with you earlier this week, I had an appointment with my surgeon and my nutritionist. It has been 9 months since my surgery and I shared with both that I want to lose 10 more pounds but currently things were moving slowly. They shared that this is normal for the weight loss to slow down but not to give up because it would happen.

My surgeon said that he was fine with me losing the additional 10 pounds but if I did not he was ok with that too. He told me that according to his goals I had reached them so that I hit his goal so any additional loss would just be extra. He shared that his goal was to have me below a 30 BMI and currently I am at 27. He would be happy if could maintain this but he did not discourage the additional loss.

When I saw my nutritionist following the surgical follow-up, she said the same thing and she is thrilled with my results. During my visit, we also discussed my nutrition concerning my training. She suggested that I start to take in a few more calories on a daily basis. The additional calories would be equivalent to an added snack.

I had many questions about training for endurance events post weightloss surgery as my nutritionist did too. She shared that unfortunately, I am blazing new trails and there is not a lot of research or information out there for weightloss patients who are athletes now.  Even for my surgeon and nutritionist I am a rarity. It is time to find my own answers and I hope with what I find I will be able to help future patients too.

Continuing my new journey and wearing my identity!

One Week and Nine Months...

Today was my last long run before my next half marathon. I completed 8 miles and it was a beautiful morning there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I felt great while I was running, which I was happy about since I wasn't to excited about going out in the first place. I don't know why but my head wasn't in the right space when I was getting ready but then I went outside. What a difference some sunshine can do for you on any given day. The miles went by uneventfully but I was surprised when I saw my run splits. I thought I was moving faster than they indicated but either way I got it done.

Often I focus on my miles and my time but sometimes you just need to listen to how you feel. Today I felt great and that is what is important. Once I got started mentally and physically I felt strong. Next week I will be on the start line of my 12th half marathon. I will be running the Flower City Half in Rochester, NY. I have done this race twice already and I really like it. It has a special place in my heart. Stay tuned...hoping for another great day.

Tomorrow morning I have my 9 month follow-up appointment with my surgeon and my nutritionist. I can't believe it has been 9 months. I have put together a list of questions for my nutritionist to discuss with her tomorrow. As I increase my mileage and the intensity of my training I don't know how I should be eating. If this was prior to the surgery I wouldn't worry so much about what I was putting in my body, I would just feed the hunger. Now it is a different story and I need to be concerned and cautious. Even after 9 months I am still trying to figure out what is happening to my body.

Finally I plan to talk to my doctor and my nutritionist about these last 10 pounds I want to lose. In January I wrote down my weight at the time, 155 pounds and the weight I wanted to be by April 24th (tomorrow), 140 pounds. Currently I am 150 pounds...not where I wanted to be but I am down, that is a positive. Is this normal for patients to have their weight loss slow down or stall? Another positive...months ago God barely knew how much I weighed...I never would have shared my numbers. Now I don't care...I am happy to share.

I am still learning while I am on this journey!

This is a tool...not a fix

Often times I heard while doing my research about my weight loss surgery that this surgery is a tool not the fix. Prior to scheduling one's surgery, a patient has to checkoff a list of appointments and procedures, such as meeting with a nutritionist, attending a support group and seeing a psychologist. When I saw the psychologist I shared my fears that this surgery may fix my inside plumbing but doesn't mean it will fix me mentally and my struggle with food.

Having a smaller stomach is the tool. The stomach is made smaller in order to help you with your weight and to help you lose the weight.You still need to motivate yourself to get moving and you need to make wise food choices. So why am I talking about this?

For me food was my drug of choice. I was/am an emotional eater. Prior to the surgery I struggled with mindless eating. Since the surgery, I find that if I participate in mindless eating, eating too fast or too much, I pay the price, and I get sick. So I have to work on being present when I eat now. I can't just eat because the food is there or I will pay the price.

The other problem I had (still have) was eating, mindlessly, when I was tired. I would find myself eating to give myself energy or because I was too tired to think about what I was eating. This still happens. I have been traveling for work for the last 10 days and between very early morning travels, events, meetings, and just not being home I am confusing my energy level with my hunger level. As I am recording my food intake (using my fitness pal app) I am eating more than I actually need to. I have to remember that the surgery was just a tool but I still have to work hard to have the successes. If I don't take care of myself, I could go backwards and I don't want to do that!

Traveling and work can not be an excuse...I need to put myself first and I am important! Since I didn't have to be up early this morning for an event or meetings (planned event later this afternoon) I went to bed earlylast night (very tired) and didn't set my alarm. I was able to get 8 hours of sleep....heaven!! I hope it helps today but either way I have to be stronger!

I will always be working at this, finding out just how strong I am, and I will see success. I still would like to lose 10 more pounds and I need to work on it every day! I never said this was easy, this surgery was a tool...and I will use it wisely!

#NewJourney