A swim, my bike and then I run

This past Saturday I completed a 5K (3.1 miles) open water swim. I love to swim, it is actually my favorite exercise, but this past weekend's event was tough.The water was rough and choppy and I had a lot of trouble with leg cramps. It was a great event and I will definitely sign up again ... I need to beat my time.

I have always struggled with the same thing my whole life, my weight. At times it has held me back and at other times I try to prove I am better than my weight. I have never disliked physical activities. I have run, biked and swam for 100s and 100s of miles and yet my weight is still and issue. To reiterate what I stated in my last post I have six months to get my weight under control. Exercise will not be enough. I have to watch not only my carbohydrate intake but also the amount of fat I intake too. Is it more important to weigh myself at home and use the same scale I have always been using or do I use a different scale during these 6 months. I have been thinking about using the scale at the gym and weigh in once a week. With tomorrow being the first of September, I will make a decision in the AM and post my weight.

I have another goal as we start September. My sister, who is a teacher, often says that September is her "new year" so she sets her resolutions in September rather than January. I thought I would do that too this year. My resolutions in January were surrounded around my health and this September it is a continuation. I need to get my weight under control and I would also like to move my bike now. My bike taunts me. It is setup in my living room and every day it looks at me and laughs. I always have great intentions of riding my bike outside or on my trainer but every time I make the plan I find an excuse. Of the three disciplines of triathlon the bike is my weakest. Knowing the fact that it is my weakest or should I put it bluntly, I stink at it, I should want to get on the bike more, but I don't. There is something holding me back. Is it fear? I know what you are thinking, get on my bike because it is the only way to get better. Oh I know, but the bike taunts me instead! So this September I am going to ride my bike. I will overcome this fear and quiet the bully known as my bike! Other resolutions are to knit more this fall & winter and to do something new every month!

So what is next? A run. I have a half marathon scheduled for October in Brooklyn, NY. Training is going ok but now that the swim is over, my training will totally be focused on my run. I have also decided to sign up for the Ithaca 5 & 10 in September. I was excited when I realized I wasn't working that weekend so I can actually sign up for a race!! And what will come up next ... stay tuned!

What's next?

Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it.

Hard is what makes it great ---- A League of Their Own

It's been 3 months since I have met with my diabetes coach and on Tuesday, August 25th I returned. I have been working very hard at controlling my daily blood sugar levels. There is so much I can do to produce low numbers but sometimes one meal can throw you off. It happens sometimes when you go out to dinner or When traveling, you think you have made the best choices and then that evening or the next morning's read is up high. I am happy to report that my coach was pleased with my numbers. The majority of the time they were great but there were a few times when they were high. However, we could look back on my daily food intake and were able to pinpoint what I had eaten that made the levels high.

During our appointment we discussed some side affects and issues I have been having with one of my medication. I have been feeling the affects of some of the medication to the extreme and these side affects wreak havoc on my daily routines. So we decided to change up some of my medications to see how I do. I have to try the new medication for a month and then report back in with her via email to see how I am feeling.

The good news is I don't have to go back to my coach for another 6 months. However, I have my work cut out for me during these next six months. I have to break the weight plateau I have been on and continue to bring it down. I lost the 41 pounds and during this summer I hit a stand still. The weight is going to be key. So my blood sugar numbers need to stay low and my weight numbers need to come down. I feel like my body has changed, clothes fit differently in the areas that I lose the weight first (my hips, legs and upper body) but my mid section is still an issue. I need to increase my vegetable intake (not easy for me) and decrease my daily fat grams. Doing all of this while keeping my blood sugar levels low too ... this won't be easy but as the quote up top states...if it were easy everyone would be doing it.

In 6 months the weight needs to drop. No more plateaus ... No more sliding by ... this is more than just my blood sugar numbers, this affects my blood sugar levels. The scale is important too. I need to follow a low fat/low carb diet. I need to be strict and I need to make sacrifices. I need to say no, not just in public but when I am home alone too. Most importantly I need to plan. Exercise is not enough, my diet is keeping me from succeeding. This will not be easy, this will be hard. I have to stop finding excuses and start making a change.

Sometimes a run is all you need...

This month is going to be crazy! It is only August 4th and I am already saying this. I have seven work events that are planned along with multiple trips scheduled each week. The last two evenings I left work at 7:15 pm ... not because my work was done but because I was hungry and wanted dinner. The past two days I had planned to swim after work, but by the time I left the office the pool was closed so my gym bag was dragged back home. Last night I got home and it was thundering and pouring rain so I just made dinner and sat on the couch. Tonight it was a beautiful evening and I couldn't miss another workout.

This morning I saw the above post and I couldn't agree more. Tonight I was tired and hungry but I knew I needed to move. I put dinner in the oven and went out for a quick run. The oven timer was set for 45 minutes and I was back in 44 minutes, happy that I completed the workout.

When I was out for the run I passed a couple that was walking. They cheered for me when I passed and said that I was doing better than them. I in-turn cheered for them and said as long as you are moving forward that is all that counts. As much as my job takes up so much of my life, I can't let it affect my health, I must keep moving forward. My workouts are too important. My workouts challenge me, relax me and empower me! My workouts make me a better person, my workouts help me move forward.

After my run tonight I felt great. Happy that I completed it and happy that I didn't find an excuse not to do it. I told myself while I was on the run that if I kept moving I would reward myself with a treat...

There is my treat ... a nice cold glass of chocolate milk. Sometimes all you need is a run and maybe some chocolate milk to make you happy!!

Erasers

On Monday, this quote from John Bingham was on Facebook as a "Monday Motivation". I felt that it spoke volumes and I know I wasn't alone. So many times we wake up and set goals for ourselves. We set out to accomplish those goals through training, planning and sometimes "blood, sweat and tears". However, sometimes we don't accomplish those goals. We hit a road block or the climb up the mountain became too steep. Did we end up with an injury or did we have a bad day that didn't bring us across the finish line?

We were strong when we set the goals. We were stronger when we started training and we were strongest when we approached the start line. However, something got in our way of finishing and because of that we began to doubt ourselves. We questioned if we could do it? If we could accomplish our goals, if we were worthy of the finish line?

One thing we have to remember is we had the courage to try, to train and to start. So we start again, we put on our running shoes and we start again. We erase those failures and those doubts. We remember what drove us to set the goals in the first place. And it doesn't matter how many times we have to start again, one day we will succeed!

Numbers

Sorry it has been a while since my last post, and this one is a bit longer than my previous ones. This past month has been busy and I haven't been inspired to write much. At the end of May I saw my diabetes coach and she was not quite thrilled with my daily blood sugar numbers. My A1C, which is a test you take every 3 months to test your average blood sugar numbers, had dropped significantly but other test showed that not all blood sugar numbers were coming down. She sent me off with a challenge of lowering my blood sugars on a daily basis or she would have to add more medication including insulin.

I write down everything I eat on a daily basis to the best of my ability. I may be off a few ounces here or there but for the most part I am very honest with myself. I figure the only way this is all going to work is to be honest with myself. Every time I have an appointment with my diabetes doctor I show her my daily food intake so she can compare it with my daily numbers. What she has found is that it isn't my diet that is stopping my numbers from going down, the fact is that my body does not break carbohydrates down enough and I am paying the price. So in order for all of this to work, I have to be extra strict with my carbohydrate numbers. I try very hard to keep these numbers low, but my coach is a realist and knows that some days they maybe higher than others. We are all human. I have found out that I can not eat Thai food anymore. Rice and noodles are high in carbohydrates and drive my numbers through the roof. I love pad Thai too so this is hard. I have also stayed away from pasta, except for the occasional once a month when I need some comfort food, you know what I mean.

Well I am happy to say, with another four weeks before I see my diabetes coach that my numbers have been great. In the morning I try very hard to have my reading be below 140 and I have been very consistent with that. I then take a second reading in the evening after dinner and I like to see those numbers below 190. In the last 10 weeks I am happy to report that I have been above that number only 10 times (about once a week), and I can pinpoint what I ate that brought those number that high.  I have another month before I see my coach and I have to continue to work at keeping these numbers low.

So you figured I would be thrilled to report this, and I am, but I wish all the numbers that I am working towards would go down. Numbers surround me; blood sugar numbers, pounds on the scale, fitbit daily steps, the number of laps in the pool and the miles on the road. As I am so happy to have my blood sugar levels going down the pounds on the scale are not moving. On June 24th I weighed in at 208.5, I was down 41 1/2 pounds. Since that date, the scale, had not moved or has fluctuated as much as 8 pounds. I am frustrated and upset. I finally weighed in last Monday, wrote down the weight and hid the scale. That damn square box. It plays with my emotions. I figure I will put it away for four weeks and take it out again on August 17th and see what happens. I am still writing my food down, not going overboard. I am exercising almost every day, and switching up the workouts as well as the distances. I have even incorporated strength training. Oh how I hate the scale!! I think I would be better off using a Crazy 8 ball and asking it how much I weigh. I might get a better answer!

Just today I read an article in Women's Running magazine. The title of the article is The Weight Debate.  The article argues the fact that we should all ditch the scale. The author argues that the scale only tells us one side of the story, our weight. However, it doesn't tell us how fit we are or how much muscle we have. It only shows us a number. I started to think about what this article was telling me. There is some truth to this. The stupid scale, as I like to call it, doesn't know that I swam 2.25 miles today or that I ran yesterday. It has no clue that I lifted on Friday or that I have been trying to see how long I can hold a plank. And as much as I agree with all of this I still want to see a different number on the scale. It is a never ending battle.

So here is to three more weeks without the scale. My focus will continue to be on my workouts and my daily blood sugar numbers.

Updates and random thoughts ...

Well I finally reached a total of 40 pounds lost this morning. I was very excited to see that on the scale. This past week I have been traveling for work once again, but during this trip I also got hit with a head and chest cold. This threw me for a loop and knocked me out a few times with pure exhaustion. My workouts were limited due to lack of energy and not being able to breath but I tried my best. I mostly walked as much as I could because I knew running could cause some problems with a chest cold. I am feeling better, still dealing with the cold lingering but feeling much better. So this week is a clean slate and I don't have to travel again until Friday ... woo hoo.

Twenty-eight more days until my triathlon and 10 more weeks until my 3 mile open water swim. I need to kick up the workouts a notch in order to be ready. As far as the triathlon is concerned I am good with the swim and the run of course the bike needs some work ... and for those that know me well you are not surprised by this. The thing that is getting me nervous is the fact that I have a few work travel trips between now and the triathlon. So I have to plan accordingly. Tomorrow morning I am heading to the pool, the alarm is set and off I will go!!

My other random thoughts...I am struggling with a few other things right now too. This struggle has nothing to do with my training or my weight loss but has to do with a goal I have set for myself and I am struggling with. Last fall I started my doctorate. It is a hybrid program in Higher Education. Weekly I do the work online and once a month I head to campus for classes. I enjoy the program but I struggle with getting the work done when I travel so much. When I am home I work all day, get a workout in and then spend hours working on school work. Which doesn't come easy to me. I have always been an average student who has to work really hard to make a B. Then when I travel, I work during the day and then usually head to meetings or events at night and I am limited to when I can get my school work done. And usually if I have to sacrifice something it is the school work. I want to continue but it is hard. I also have to make a big sacrifice financially and that scares me too.

I am weighing all of my options but I still don't have an answer. What do I want? To do well at my job; to be healthy and beat diabetes; to continue to lose weight; to be able to train and compete in runs and triathlons and complete my degree? Can I do it all? Am I insane to try? I know there are sacrifices and what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger ... but is it all worth it? I ask the question again, Can I do it all??

One Year ...

Before - June, 2014

After - June, 2015

One year ago today I stepped on the scale in my apartment, saw a number I didn't like and decided to make a change. Since that day I have lost a total of 38 pounds. That is an average of about .73 pounds per week. In the past 365 days so much else has happened but I tried very hard to stay on course. Even though one year has passed I am not satisfied and I must keep going. I do like the fact that I have lost the weight but I must keep moving forward.

Since I am starting another year, I decided I would take a look at my post from the New Year. At the start of the new year I decided to live this year by one word and one phrase ... six months into the new year I am still facing each day reminding myself of my one word, "health" and my one phrase, "medication free". It's a long road but I am not afraid of the journey!

38 pounds this year ... how many next??

"Finally, what do I want?  I want my health!  I want to be healthy!  How will I get there? One step at a time.  Everything I do and every choice I make I will keep my "one word" and "my phrase" in mind ... will this get me what I want!" ---Maura Donovan, New Year's Post