So this Easter, similar to years past, I have traveled to Virginia with my Dad to celebrate the holiday with my sister. This morning like so many others I got up, put on my Easter best and headed to Mass. My sister lives in Ashburn, VA which is considered the metro DC area and very close to Dulles airport and belongs to St. Therese Catholic Church. It is a very large church and with a very large membership.
So off to Church I went; entered the pew with my family and sat next to an older southern woman. As I sat down the older woman looked at me and said ... your baby is going to have red hair. I looked at her wondering who she was talking to and realized she was talking to me. First I thought to myself, only if there was an immaculate conception! Instead, I looked at her and said, I am not pregnant. I wanted to die ... way to kill my self esteem lady. I wanted out of that church so badly. Easter is supposed to be a joyous occasion and instead my confidence was crumbling and I was hurt.
I was wearing a new dress, which I bought last month and it was a size smaller. I had just gone shopping the day before and bought three new pairs of pants and several tops all of which were smaller sizes. And finally I had completed a week of workouts and didn't miss one; I had swam, biked and ran and felt great. Then you hear this comment and everything disappears.
I realize the woman didn't mean anything by it. She continued to apologize throughout mass and all I wanted to say was let it go lady but I smiled politely and said it was ok. She wasn't trying to be mean but words can hurt. How can a total stranger who knows nothing about me, make me question all of my hard work?
So guess what? A workout has been added to my calendar today. In fact I think I will head out soon before dinner is served.
Jesus give me strength to keep moving forward!!! Happy Easter everyone!!
And if you are wondering I probably would have kids with red hair. My dad and aunt were red heads and my natural highlights are red!!
You write with such vulnerability and such honesty!!! This has happened to me and it hurts on so many levels. I love that you try to make that woman feel better...you have such a kind heart! I don't know what to say to make it better, except you aren't alone. I admire your endless hard work!! You are an amazing woman...beautiful, kind, funny, smart, and someone I've known for...well, let's say a very long time. LOL! Thank you for writing about this painful experience. I hope the writing helped you process it. Happy running!!! :)
ReplyDeleteYour kind words say it all Michelle. Thank you! The writing helped so much. It was theaputic and I was able to get it out and not let it eat at me.
ReplyDeletespelling mistake ... therapeutic.
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