The sacrifice is supposed to be a type of fasting, it is supposed to help an individual repent. What one chooses to "give up" is supposed to have an impact on that person's life. The sacrifice is supposed to represent the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert prior to Passover.
Over the years I have given up tea, I know a BIG one! And it was for me and everyone around me! I have given up food or drinks. I have even taken things on instead, such as going to Mass every morning. This of course was easy to do when you went to a Catholic School and Mass started and ended before the bell rang!
This year I thought long and hard about this and I decided I would give up Facebook. Of course, I decided this before a pandemic hit and we were all forced to work from home and keep our "social distance" from people. This has made it difficult to check on friends, to see how things are going etc. When I decided to give up Facebook, I also decided to take something on. What I have taken on is reading a book written by Matthew Kelly called Resisting Happiness. It is published by the group Dynamic Catholic, if that gives you any idea what the book could be about. It is actually a good book and not the first one I have read by Mr. Kelly.
By reading this book and keeping my social distance away from everyone, I have been thinking a lot. And one thing I have thought about is, why did I choose to give Facebook up for Lent? What did I want out of that sacrifice? It is often shared that the Lenten sacrifice is supposed to have an impact on your own life. I am not asking these questions so I can get back on Facebook and give up but to really discover the "Why?". There are about 15 days until Easter and I would rather discover something about myself than just do it to say I did it.
One reason I said I wanted to give up on Facebook is because I found myself spending quite a bit of time on it and wasting a lot of time. I wouldn't define myself a procrastinator, but I waste time and don't get everything done. I try to prioritize what needs to be done; work, school work, and workouts. But I should have plenty of time to get other things done but my "to-do" list is either rushed, I have to say no to doing things, or things remain on the list not touched.
I find myself just scrolling, searching for something, but not finding it. Often, I have to get on Facebook for work. I am an admin for several pages/groups associated with the alumni at IC. During this WFH time, I have jumped on to add a few things and gave myself permission to check on a few people. Once again, I found myself just scrolling after I checked on friends and read a few posts. What am I looking for?
The other day I was listening to a webinar about "Changing your Mindset". It was hosted by the Alumni Office at IC so many of us jumped on during our lunch hour to listen. The presenter was great and informative, but I never got that "aha" moment during the presentation. I don't think it was the individual presenting it was me. It had me thinking again. As I listen to podcasts, TED Talks, and webinars, I find myself waiting to hear something that will move me or give me that "aha" moment but often I walk away not swayed.
Lately, I feel I am always searching but I never find it. I scroll and waste time...I go back to that social media page 10 minutes later thinking I am going to find something different. The big question I have to ask myself as we have 15 days left of Lent, not that I have to end there, "WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR???"
This is what I need to figure out -- I want to do so much, I have so much on my "to do" list and I end up of wasting so much time... This is what I need to work on, wasting time, not shutting people out. Maybe by not wasting time, I will have the time to find what I am looking for!
Stay healthy and safe everyone! And remember to wash your hands!!
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