Soon after that I received word that the university where I am working towards my doctorate will close the end of April. Being in higher education I have read so many articles about schools struggling, merging, and closing due to low numbers and financial reasons. I just never thought it would hit so close to home. This added some stress and anxiety to my life. It is starting to work out but not what I wanted to deal with as I was entering the last year of my doctoral program.
Now we are facing Coronavirus (COVID - 19). As an athlete it breaks my heart to see so many sporting events, tournaments, championships, and races cancelling. It has affected me personally as two races I was registered to run have cancelled, as of this past week. Professionally the college where I work, like so many others, is closing for a few weeks. We have had to cancel events and travel. And now we are working remotely from home. Restaurants and bars in some states are being forced to close. It is important to control this decease as it is bringing not only the disease and illness but also lots of anxiety and uneasiness to so many.
CAN WE PLEASE GET A DO OVER???
And this is only a few of things I have personally going on. I am about to get a bit personal or very vulnerable I should say. I have been struggling...trying to get into a positive head space. I saw the picture I posted above on Instagram and it made me think. What do I want to accomplish in 6 months. I feel overwhelmed on some days having too many goals or too many things to work on ... work, school, workouts, my weight...world peace! I can't seem to choose one that is more important than the other.
So I really started to think about what I really want. I shared this with my coach and now I am sharing it with you (I realize I am announcing this but I need some accountability). I want to be happy. In six months I want to be happy. Not being in the right head space has caused me not to be happy. I know you can wake up every day and determine your happiness and I do try that but sometimes the outside sources get in the way. I have never really felt like this before so this is all new to me.
I want to be happy with who I am ... with what I am doing...with what I am accomplishing.
What are my excuses? Why am I holding myself back? Am I letting myself be happy. I once read that Maturity comes when you stop making excuses and start making changes. I am ready to make changes. I know so much affects my happiness... my workouts, my weight, my school work etc I let the negative talk distract me and I end up in my head too much.
I told myself I need to stop talking about it and start doing it. It always comes back to Spirit Mind and Body. The mission/vision/philosophical theory of Springfield College (my alma mater)...If you don't build the body and educate the mind your spirit will crumble. If I want to work towards happiness (my spirit) I need to kick my workouts up a notch...become stronger and lose some weight (Body) and go strong on my research for my dissertation (mind). September will be here before we know it!!
Step One -- I have a problem -- I have a goal
It always leads back to my weight (a constant struggle) and my workouts. I need to get stronger and faster.
Day One was today --- tell you all about it and go out for a run and let myself enjoy it. It was a beautiful day, don't worry about time or distance...just run. I did 6 miles. I still love running but lately I haven't liked it very much.
Keep moving forward.
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