2020 The Year of the Rat

April 24 became a day filled with change. Some I was prepared for, other changes I was not. On April 24 the school I had been attending for 3 years working toward my doctorate officially closed. The following Monday, April 27 I started at a new school...didn't skip a beat...there is work to be done. Well I skipped a few beats as I tried to figure our the University's online system but I kept moving forward.

On that same day, April 24, I was "furloughed" from my job at Ithaca College. I put the word furlough in quotes because unlike other furloughs I do not have an anticipated return date. Seven plus years of passion, pride, endless hours, constant travel, taken away.

Since that day I have been on an emotional roller coaster, I have been upset, I have been MAD, but I will be Okay. My future will workout and I will figure it out. I have reminded myself on countless occasions that I am strong, I am smart and I believe. And most importantly, I am an IRONMAN!!

During this pandemic, many institutions have been on hiring freezes leaving few options as far as job openings are concerned. However, I have had some opportunities to apply and I will not quit! I am a survivor and I will land on my feet because I believe.

Earlier in the week a friend that I met through Ithaca College called me and reminded me that 2020 is the year of the Rat for the Chinese New Year. I had to laugh because I am not a huge fan of rats. She explained that it was the first animal in the cycle so it signifies a new beginning. So many people are going through tough times and change but change can be positive, it can be a new beginning! So here's to the year of the Rat!!

This is also the week on Facebook that memories come up about a half marathon I have done a few times in Rochester. It is the Flower City Half Marathon. A race that I love for so many reasons. The first time I did this race was 2010. It was my comeback race. I signed up for the race as a goal to get me off the couch. In 2008 I had an ankle injury that ended with surgery. It took about a year to heal with PT and other issues but instead of getting right back to running in 2009 I got right back to the couch. I was in a funk and I did nothing. So I made the decision late in 2009 early 2010 that I would run the half in Rochester. I completed the half in 3 hours and 26 minutes and I was the last person on the course!! Two years later (2012) I went back to do the race again and I completed it in 2 hours and 55 minutes and this time I waited for the last person to finish the race. I went back again in 2017 because I love that race and PR'd the course and had a personal PR. In April of 2018 I did a half marathon in DC, The National Women's Half Marathon. I PR'd that day, finish time of 2:21:21...a time I have not been able to beat since! I keep trying but it hasn't happened yet...someday!

I share these stories because these races remind me of who I am, I am a fighter...I am determined and I will finish a race no matter how ugly it looks!! What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. So these bumps in the road, transferring schools and being "furloughed" will not kill me, no they will make me stronger!!

I choose to be stronger because of life's unavoidable disappointments. As races have been cancelled one by one this season, you often ask yourself what am I training for? I train for life to stay strong and to be ready when the start lines are open again. But I also look at it as yes, a race has been cancelled and I am disappointed that so many goals can't be reached this year, but I will adjust the sails and follow a new path to a new goal.

Just last night I sent a new goal to my coach that I hope to focus on over the next 5 + months.  I am hoping that she doesn't think I am nuts. I am excited to see where this journey will take me! I will share this new goal with you as soon as she gives me the green light!!

During this uneasy time, fear of getting sick, fear that your loved ones will be sick, losing a job, switching schools, not being able to see friends and family, my emotions are running high and low. However, I can't lose faith and I need to believe we will come out of this better and stronger than before. I can not give up on school, I have worked too hard. I can not let a "furlough" define me, I am better than that. I still have goals to achieve! I will become stronger because of life's unavoidable disappointments!

Stay Strong! Stay Healthy! Keep Showing Up!!