Training: Highs and Lows

Why is it one day you have a fabulous training and then the very next day you are counting the minutes until it is over and you have absolutely no confidence in yourself? I have been doing this for many years so I know you always have good days and bad days. And I also know, often you learn more from the bad training days than you do from the good training days.

However, I can tell you it never gets easier. Yesterday I sat in the bike saddle for 2 hours and when it was over I felt strong and proud of myself! This morning I started an 8 mile run but ended up only completed 5+ miles. Now I know that I can complete the 8 miles, I have done it before, and just 3 weeks ago I did 10 miles. Completing the distance isn't the problem, it is listening to the voices in your head.

I will admit that I was not feeling great during the run...I thought I was going to get sick the entire time...which meant I didn't want to take in any additional fuel during the run. I blame the stomach issues on one of three things...1. I ate more than I usually do prior to a run. 2. I ate too fast before the run. 3. I ate too close to starting my run or 4. All of the above (bariatric surgery problems). I didn't end up getting sick but I didn't have it in me to do the last 2 1/2 miles.

At times like this I can tell you that training is very lonely. You are by yourself, you're in your head and you beat yourself up.

Thank God tomorrow is a new day!!

It's Sunday...

It's Sunday so it must be blog day! I look forward to this day and think about what I will write about all week. Today's blog will be about pure honesty! This past week I finally had my 18 month surgery follow-up appointment...I said finally because it actually was closer to a 20 month follow, working in an appointment can be tough! Anyway I got to the appointment and found out I am not absorbing enough iron...my red blood cell count was low...bring on the iron pills. However, that is not the honesty I wanted to share.

What I will share I actually brought to the appointment to talk about with my surgeon. I have used the term "the honeymoon is over" before and with that in mind the hard work has started. I have been struggling with my relationship with food. Some of my old demons are coming back. I have been stress eating, eating when not hungry, and eating too much. I have also been adding back food that I shouldn't be eating such as desserts (sugar...which always make me sick to my stomach) and too many carbs (carbs aren't bad, I just shouldn't be eating all that I have). The scale has been fluctuating...up a few pounds...down a few pounds...back up again, you get the picture.

So I had this discussion with my doctor. He told me that what I was experiencing was not unusual, many patients go through it. He did say, the fact that I am aware of it and talking about it, is a step in the right direction to getting it under control. Once again he shared with me that the surgery he performed was a tool, not a fix. And he agreed with me, the honeymoon is over and now I had to work! He was happy that my workouts are going well and that exercise is such a staple/routine in my life. However, he agreed we need to get a handle on the emotional eating and facing my food demons head on.

We arranged to schedule an appointment with the nutritionist ( in 3 1/2 weeks) and then we discussed going back to a counselor/therapist. I saw one before the surgery, which all bariatric surgery candidates have to do prior to surgery. However, they extended my sessions because I had issues and fears with exact thing that I am struggling with right now. The feared my food issues would return. Almost 20 months post surgery and it is a struggle every day!

Since the new year I have been trying to write/journal every day. I don't write about anything specific, whatever comes to mind. I usually write first thing in the morning so it helps to get my mind working. This morning's entry was quite long and turned into a project. I decided to write about the food struggle I have been having...I set a few goals for myself...I used words and pictures to visualize what I wanted...I even did a WOOP exercise to lay my goals out for the next 20 weeks.. Why 20 weeks...that is the length of time until my 2 year anniversary from the surgery.

(On a side note...if you have never done a WOOP exercise it is helpful. It helps you lay out your goals and see if you really can accomplish them. A good friend of mine shared the exercise with me and I use it quite often.

I don't want to go back to what I was prior to the surgery...I have come too far. My only option is to work hard and accomplish my goals!! Below is a glimpse into my journal entry project for today...Just keep Moving!

Running through History and a Nor'easter!

I think I have a favorite running route in every city I visit during my work travel. Most often, I do not get time to site see or visit landmarks, like normal travelers. So I use my workouts, early in the morning, to see the sites! I love to run early in the morning during these visits because it is usually before the tourist take to the street or the commuters arrive at their destinations.

This past week I was in Boston (Massachusetts is where you will always find my heart) for work. I was staying downtown, in the financial district, and that is where my favorite run route begins. Let me take you on my run...I headed out of the hotel and down Broad street towards State. I head up State and cross over the spot of the Boston Massacre. I turn left onto Tremont Street and begin to follow the Freedom Trail! I pass the King's Chapel Burial Ground, which is the oldest cemetery in the city, on my left. The likes of John Winthrop, the first Governor of Massachusetts, is buried there. And on my right is, the Granary Burying Ground with the likes of Paul Revere, Sam Adams, Crispus Attucks, and John Hancock.


After that I turn up Park Street toward Beacon Street and the State House. I run down Beacon Street and into the Public Gardens. I run past Make Way for Ducklings out of the gardens and onto the Boston Commons. Once I leave the commons, which did you know at one time was used as cow fields, I run in and out of some small streets until I arrive on Milk Street. Milk Street has been a street in Boston for 100s of years and was the street where Benjamin Franklin was born. After Milk Street I end up on Atlantic Avenue and the Greenway until I head to the Harbor and back to Broad Street. The entire run is about 3.3 miles long, not an intense run but reminds me of who I am and where I came from!

I was able to do this run twice while I was in the city for work. The second day I decided to do it during a nor'easter. Boston like much of the northeast was hit with a storm but the city got rain and high, high winds all day. The winds hit 60-90 miles per hour at times during the day. When I headed out in the morning the wind was about 45 miles per hour. I saw this run as an adventure and I was curious about the weather. I will tell you that at times the run was probably a bit dangerous since I had to brace myself at intersection to stop the wind from pushing me. My route was filled with puddles but I did not see high tide but later that day my route was under water. Prayers go out to all those who were seriously affected by this storm.

I do love this city and it always feels like home...have running sneakers, will travel!!