A special way to say good-bye

Almost two months ago I received a call from a friend who shared with me that a mutual friend had pass away that day. I was in complete shock. At first the tears wouldn't even fall because I couldn't believe it and I didn't want to believe it. I had know this individual for almost 12 years, he in fact was the person who coached me through my first marathon in 2005 and my first 70.3 Half Ironman in 2012. He was an unbelievable person who touched so many people's lives. He was the one person who encouraged you and believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself.

I can remember when I was training for my first marathon, I was so concerned about the cut off time. How much time did we have to complete the course? What was the cutoff time? How will I know if I made it? He would just shake his head and say, "Don't worry about it MD, you are going to be fine!" He knew how to keep calm when the rest of us were a nervous wreck. He would head out on training courses and race day courses and chalk messages to us in order to keep us going, keep us focused and to remind us "you are going to be fine!" Chalking the road ways was his signature move, for lack of a better word.

I bring this up today because sadly I never felt like I said a proper good-bye to my friend Brendan Jackson. On the day of his wake, ready to make the hour long ride to B'ville, my car wouldn't start. it was dead in my drive way. At that point, there wasn't anyone I could call to come get me, being such a distance away from everyone...at that moment I started to cry. I felt like so often Brendan had been there for us but I couldn't be there for him. As the weeks passed tributes were made at the annual Mountain Goat 10 miler in Syracuse, but I was out of town for work that weekend. There was a run held in his memory at the local Fleet Feet Store in Syracuse, but once again I was out of town.

Weeks went by and I still felt like I hadn't said my goodbyes. I had completed two races since Brendan's death, another marathon in Vermont and a Triathlon in Massachusetts. Throughout the races I could hear his voice cheering me on and I knew I had to do something.

In 2005 when we were training for the marathon Brendan would take us out to B'ville, NY to run on some hilly, low traffic roads. There were areas of Central NY I never knew existed until I trained with Brendan. One particular Sunday it was the hottest day of the summer. We started early in the AM but it didn't matter it was hot and humid. I remember when I was running I felt like my feet were on fire. We were running on roads named Whiskey Hollow (kind of a creepy road), Conners road... a great down hill...and West Dead Creek Road!! If anyone ever trained with Brendan you know the area! West Dead Creek Road became a joke with Brendan and me. It always brought back memories to that hot, awful run. I remember getting back to our cars, we would park in the DPW parking lot and looking at him and all I could say was "Seriously"...cuz it was soooo hot!!

Well today I made a trip to B'ville. I visited Whiskey Hollow, Conners Road and West Dead Creek Road. As I stood at the cross roads of West Dead Creek and Conners Road I started to cry but quickly those tears turned into a smile because it brought back so many wonderful memories. I thought about all the lives that Brendan touched and all the people I was able to meet because of Brendan. He is still with us, as we
cover the miles throughout Central New York. As we climb a hill during a training run or race, you can still hear his voice cheering you on. When you are doubting yourself he is the one pushing you from behind.


Today I said good bye...thanks for the wonderful memories...know you are missed Brendan...and until we meet again...you got this!

A few random thoughts

So much has happened since the Marathon on Memorial Day Weekend and yet so much has stayed the same. The scale still hasn't moved and I am stuck at the same 101 pounds down...fighting to lose the last 9 pounds. Trying very hard to see the forest for the trees and focus on some of the good and not on the plateau I am sitting on. So I thought I would share some random thoughts that I have had over the last two weeks:

Random Thought #1
This is a picture of my May workout calendar...I haven't posted one of these in a while. I had three rest days during the month...these were planned rest days and they were tough. Even the day after the marathon I was up in the morning moving my body! I recently shared a post from Rock n Roll Marathon Series that said: " You know you're hooked when Taking a rest day takes more discipline than working out" There is so much truth to that statement!

Random Thought #2
On June 3rd, I got outside on the bike for the first time since last summer. It felt great and it was a beautiful day. I had to get outside because I had a triathlon coming up on the calendar and this Saturday was one of the nicest we had in a very long time. I rode for an hour and covered about 12.5 miles. I held a nice pace and new I was ready for the triathlon!

Random Thought #3
That same weekend I received several packages in the mail. I had ordered a new wetsuit, new bathing suits and compression socks. All three packages arrived the same day and it felt like Christmas in June. I had to try everything on right away...the bathing suits fit well, no returns there. However, then I had to try on the wetsuit. Putting on a wetsuit is a workout in itself and not knowing if the size you ordered is the correct one, I wasn't looking forward to this task.

Well the only way I was going to find out if it fit was to try it on...so here I go. The suit got on and for the first time in my life I was able to zip up the wetsuit on my own. It fit...it's a keeper. Of course no matter what size you are or how much weight I have lost there is nothing sexy about looking at yourself in a wetsuit!

Now the fun really began, I had to get myself out of the wetsuit...Oh my don't panic I think, the zipper you got up all on your own, was now stuck! How will you get out of this thing...and now you are getting hot. Thank God after keeping calm I was able to get the zipper down and then it came off. Oh how much I don't love wetsuits!

Random Thought #4
Okay, I had to share this picture, mostly to remind myself that even if the scale isn't moving I am still on track and doing really well. I bought this skirt at a consignment shop in Vermont. It was one of the nicest consignment shops I have ever been in and I usually don't buy skirts but while in this store they had such a large selection I had to check them out. I don't love myself in skirts because I am short and I think skirts make me look shorter and frumpy...but not this one. And if you notice the shirt I purchased to go with the skirt (Gap v-neck t-shirt) is TUCKED in!!

I can't tell you the last time I did that...I think I was in grammar school? I wore a school uniform and I had to tuck my shirt into my skirt. Other than that, I don't think there was every a time. Seeing this picture reminds me that this journey is not easy, there is still work to be done but along the way you need to stop and smell the roses! This is one of my successes...may the road be paved with more and with hard work and determination I will see them all to the finish!!

Random Thought #5
So two weeks after the Vermont City Marathon I competed in the Westfield Wave Triathlon. The triathlon took place on Sunday and it was a sprint. This was my first triathlon in three years. I had not competed in a triathlon since 2013. I had done the three disciplines separately but not all together. My training had been going well but I didn't know what to expect and I was nervous. No matter how much I trained the bike portion is still my weakness and I could think I was ready but the road could tell me something else. I also hadn't been in a transition area in over three years; will I remember how to set up my stuff...will I take too much time in there?

And to make matters worse I was traveling to Massachusetts after a work road trip so that meant I had to have everything packed and ready to go by Tuesday evening!! Will I forget anything...do I have everything I need...did I remember my bike shoes? Oh the added stress!

Then I received an email Friday evening. The swim portion of the race was "swim at your own risk". The water was contaminated and even though they would offer the swim, it was swim at your own risk. If you decided not to swim it would become a duathlon and you could run bike run. I couldn't decide what was I going to do...I love the swim but I didn't want to chance it. I know what I will do I will post the question on Facebook and see what my friends say...well that didn't take long...not one yes to the question "swim or not"...It was unanimous I wasn't going to swim.

So we started with the run, then the bike and then the run again. Total distances were .4 mile run; 13 mile bike and 3 mile run. I had a great day. The starting run was a great way to loosen up and even though I still needed to change my shoes in transition I was out of there in no time. I was on the bike and those climbs, no matter how steep or long, they are my weakness...must keep working on those. I did the ride in under 55 minutes and transitioned right into the run. I felt great. I finished that triathlon really happy with how I did and ended up 5th in my age group! I look forward to my next one!

My official finish time was 1:29:31
Run 1: 2:58
Transition 1(T1): 50 seconds
Bike: 53:27
T2: 1:18
Run 2: 30:55

I guess I had a lot of random thoughts tonight...now I am tired. However, all of these things remind me why I started this journey and why I am continuing it! These last two weeks have shown me there is more to having that scale move (even though I really want it to). I have other ways of measuring my victories!!



PS: As some of you may know I consider myself a chocolate mild connoisseur and I am very particular about my chocolate milk. I love some right after an endurance race or a really hard workout...if offers you everything you need to rebuild your body. My personal favorite brand is Byrne Dairy but after the triathlon in Massachusetts, they served Hood (a staple of the Bay State). Although it was not Byrne Dairy...it was pretty good!!