Reflecting

December 13, 2015 ...12 days until Christmas. This is the time of year that we or at least I start to reflect on the year gone by and what does the future hold for us. Last year for my new year's resolutions I went with a word that would represent everything. The word was "health". That word represented everything I wanted; getting healthy, fighting my diabetes, and training for races. At the time last year I had only been diagnosed with diabetes for about one month. I was angry, scared and overwhelmed and I hated having this disease. I still hate having this disease and naive me thought I could fight it and get rid of it within a year.

Oh how things change in a year. My word is still "health" and I am still working towards being healthier but some days my diabetes is winning. It has been a frustrating year for me and my medical team. I am exercising almost every day. I completed a 5 mile road race, my 9th half marathon and a 5K open water swim in 2015. I was proud of myself. Looking ahead I have already laid out my race calendar for 2016 (April - September so far) and every day I am working towards those finish lines. The calendar includes 2 more half marathons, a 65 mile bike ride, a triathlon and another open water swim. Food is still a struggle for me but the big frustration is that the medication is not working the way my medical team wants it to work. They believe my body is producing too much insulin and it is rejecting the medication. Of course life happens ... some medications I can't try because my insurance won't cover them and they are wicked expensive for out of pocket. So what will happen in the new year ... only time will tell. So far no resolutions have been made!

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts ... this is sometime what I do when I can't figure out what I really want to say but I have a bunch of random thoughts ...

First thought I am traveling for work, again, and I am watching Jimmy Fallon right now ... I love Jimmy Fallon!!!

Why can't I put everything together ... my workouts have been going well. I like to workout...I like to move, sweat and challenge myself to get better or go further every day...but I struggle with food. I find myself mindlessly eating. I eat when I am not hungry and I don't make good choices when it comes to food. When I travel for work the "travel days" are the worst. Travel days are the ones that you actual travel to get to where you have to go...I spend a lot of time in airports. While I am there I find myself constantly looking for food. Is it because I am hungry, tired or bored?? Doesn't matter I eat. I am feeling out of control!!!

Today I went to lunch and ordered some dessert but asked if I could order it to go ... I thought I will eat this piece of cake a few bites at a time over the next few days. Well I left the restaurant and while I was sitting at a light, waiting to turn left, I saw a gentleman holding a sign saying he is a vet and is looking to get home so he was asking for money. I didn't have any cash on me so I turned left when the light turned green. As I turned the bag with my cake inside slid on the seat and I thought to myself I didn't need this cake ... I turned around and headed back to the street where I saw the man. I explained that I didn't have any cash but I would share my dessert with him. He blessed me and wished me a Merry Christmas!

On Pinterest tonight there was a "pin" that listed  "The 10 worst Fast Foods for Diabetics" ... that would be for me since I am a Diabetic...Here they are:
1. French Fries
2. White Tortilla recipes
3. Cookies
4. Chips
5. Chicken Nuggets
6. Bagels
7. Milkshakes
8. Pizza
9. Hamburgers
10. Soda

Yeah I am a mess since I still eat 8 out of the 10 items listed. I think I am living on the edge and I need to back away ... I haven't been feel well and I need to make a change.

Well I think my random thoughts turned into a post...
dskfjakdjfal