Erasers

On Monday, this quote from John Bingham was on Facebook as a "Monday Motivation". I felt that it spoke volumes and I know I wasn't alone. So many times we wake up and set goals for ourselves. We set out to accomplish those goals through training, planning and sometimes "blood, sweat and tears". However, sometimes we don't accomplish those goals. We hit a road block or the climb up the mountain became too steep. Did we end up with an injury or did we have a bad day that didn't bring us across the finish line?

We were strong when we set the goals. We were stronger when we started training and we were strongest when we approached the start line. However, something got in our way of finishing and because of that we began to doubt ourselves. We questioned if we could do it? If we could accomplish our goals, if we were worthy of the finish line?

One thing we have to remember is we had the courage to try, to train and to start. So we start again, we put on our running shoes and we start again. We erase those failures and those doubts. We remember what drove us to set the goals in the first place. And it doesn't matter how many times we have to start again, one day we will succeed!

Numbers

Sorry it has been a while since my last post, and this one is a bit longer than my previous ones. This past month has been busy and I haven't been inspired to write much. At the end of May I saw my diabetes coach and she was not quite thrilled with my daily blood sugar numbers. My A1C, which is a test you take every 3 months to test your average blood sugar numbers, had dropped significantly but other test showed that not all blood sugar numbers were coming down. She sent me off with a challenge of lowering my blood sugars on a daily basis or she would have to add more medication including insulin.

I write down everything I eat on a daily basis to the best of my ability. I may be off a few ounces here or there but for the most part I am very honest with myself. I figure the only way this is all going to work is to be honest with myself. Every time I have an appointment with my diabetes doctor I show her my daily food intake so she can compare it with my daily numbers. What she has found is that it isn't my diet that is stopping my numbers from going down, the fact is that my body does not break carbohydrates down enough and I am paying the price. So in order for all of this to work, I have to be extra strict with my carbohydrate numbers. I try very hard to keep these numbers low, but my coach is a realist and knows that some days they maybe higher than others. We are all human. I have found out that I can not eat Thai food anymore. Rice and noodles are high in carbohydrates and drive my numbers through the roof. I love pad Thai too so this is hard. I have also stayed away from pasta, except for the occasional once a month when I need some comfort food, you know what I mean.

Well I am happy to say, with another four weeks before I see my diabetes coach that my numbers have been great. In the morning I try very hard to have my reading be below 140 and I have been very consistent with that. I then take a second reading in the evening after dinner and I like to see those numbers below 190. In the last 10 weeks I am happy to report that I have been above that number only 10 times (about once a week), and I can pinpoint what I ate that brought those number that high.  I have another month before I see my coach and I have to continue to work at keeping these numbers low.

So you figured I would be thrilled to report this, and I am, but I wish all the numbers that I am working towards would go down. Numbers surround me; blood sugar numbers, pounds on the scale, fitbit daily steps, the number of laps in the pool and the miles on the road. As I am so happy to have my blood sugar levels going down the pounds on the scale are not moving. On June 24th I weighed in at 208.5, I was down 41 1/2 pounds. Since that date, the scale, had not moved or has fluctuated as much as 8 pounds. I am frustrated and upset. I finally weighed in last Monday, wrote down the weight and hid the scale. That damn square box. It plays with my emotions. I figure I will put it away for four weeks and take it out again on August 17th and see what happens. I am still writing my food down, not going overboard. I am exercising almost every day, and switching up the workouts as well as the distances. I have even incorporated strength training. Oh how I hate the scale!! I think I would be better off using a Crazy 8 ball and asking it how much I weigh. I might get a better answer!

Just today I read an article in Women's Running magazine. The title of the article is The Weight Debate.  The article argues the fact that we should all ditch the scale. The author argues that the scale only tells us one side of the story, our weight. However, it doesn't tell us how fit we are or how much muscle we have. It only shows us a number. I started to think about what this article was telling me. There is some truth to this. The stupid scale, as I like to call it, doesn't know that I swam 2.25 miles today or that I ran yesterday. It has no clue that I lifted on Friday or that I have been trying to see how long I can hold a plank. And as much as I agree with all of this I still want to see a different number on the scale. It is a never ending battle.

So here is to three more weeks without the scale. My focus will continue to be on my workouts and my daily blood sugar numbers.